Belief to Action

Last month, we explored the vital role of active listening in building trust and fostering meaningful relationships in order to provide effective feedback that is critical for maintaining high levels of performance within teams. Drawing from leadership examples like Coach Greg Popovich, we emphasized that trust grows when leaders encourage honest, high-candor conversations, especially during challenging moments.

Listening to Understand vs. Listening to Respond

At the heart of this communication is the distinction between listening to respond and listening to understand. While the former centers on preparing a reply, the latter involves suspending judgment, asking questions to promote understanding, and interacting in a way that results in clarity for everyone involved. This highly intentional form of listening not only enhances mutual understanding but also strengthens connection and collaboration—key ingredients for high-performing organizations.

Barriers to Deep Listening: The Narratives in Our Minds

As such, we as leaders must be aware of those barriers (for ourselves and others) that make it difficult for any human to ‘listen to understand’. And often, our greatest barriers are the competing narratives that we tell ourselves. These internal narratives—happening simultaneously with the actual conversation—often arise from emotions we’re feeling in the moment. These reactions are shaped by how we’re interpreting the current interaction. When communication breaks down and shared understanding becomes difficult, those internal narratives can provide insight into our thoughts (beliefs) about the ‘topic at hand’ (event).

Understanding the Cognitive Behavioral Model (CBM)

This concept that our thoughts influence our emotions and resulting behaviors is known as the Cognitive Behavioral Model (CBM) and provides additional insight into why communication so frequently proves to be challenging. As leaders, when we can identify a barrier that may be affected by our own internal processes, we are better equipped to do something about it!

Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviors: How They Interact

At its core, CBM helps us understand how our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are interconnected. It reveals how our internal narratives—often automatic and unconscious—shape how we interpret what others say (event), how we feel in response (feelings driven by our beliefs about what was said), and how we choose to act (the next words that come out of our mouth).

Recognizing the Event → Belief → Feeling → Action Cycle

As leaders, understanding the cycle of Event → Belief → Feeling → Action helps us recognize mental filters shaped by past experiences. These filters influence what we perceive during conversations and may or may not be relevant to the present moment. During interactions with others, our immediate feelings—often linked to past events—can intensify these filters, leading to internal self-talk that distorts communication. When we mistakenly interpret a current conversation as similar to a past one, it can significantly impact our ability to communicate effectively.

In our experience, understanding the Cognitive Behavioral Model helps leaders build self-awareness in communication—leading to more intentional listening, thoughtful responses, and greater overall effectiveness in their role. When delivering or receiving essential feedback for high performance, this mindset shift can help us recognize when a conversation isn’t going well—and reveal potential barriers to communication.

From Insight to Impact: A New Leadership Habit

This framework encourages us to pause, reflect, and respond with greater clarity—essential ingredients for shared understanding. These habits form the foundation of trust, which is vital for organizations striving to reach their highest levels of performance!